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Lately, I've been struggling with something.

That "something" is the idea that a woman - any woman - could afford to vote for John McCain out of spite. It's really something that I'm unable to wrap my mind around.

I've always felt that though I am a man, my perspective had certain commonalities with aspects of feminism. First, my concept of what many would assume is a set reality - my "Blackness" - is as amorphous as the various attitudes, experiences and voices that shape popular feminist theory. I've never understood feminism to advocate solely one path to gender equality, nor one perspective on how unfair American society can truly be to women. It's overly simplistic to think that a soccer mom in suburban Denver would have the same thoughts and views on inequities as a waitress in Columbia, S.C., or a high-powered attorney in New York City.

Yet a sisterhood or sorts exists, nonetheless. What's referred to as the "African-American experience" has similar differences, but also similar, invisible threads that bind all Blacks together. But the saddest commonality between the struggles of Blacks and those of women has been the culture of victimization that too many have embraced.

At moments of weakness, it's an understandable crutch: when felled by the weight of injustice, a one slur too many...consider yourself a victim. I mean, it's true after all, isn't it? I can't tell you how many times I've personally fallen into this trap. Self-victimization, frankly, seemed a viable alternative to the Horation Alger fantasies of guys like Shelby Steele and Ward Connerly. And that's coming from someone whose upbringing was guided largely by strong, intelligent and opinionated Black women who never traveled that road of greater convenience.

That brings me to the persistent allegations that rampant sexism was the principal cause of Hillary Clinton's loss in the Democratic primary.

To be honest, I didn't see it. I saw the many errors of the candidate and her campaign, to say nothing of the appeal of her opponent, as being the reason. My being an active supporter of Barack Obama didn't blind me to real sleights and even how certain words and actions could be interpreted as sexist (e.g. "You're likeable enough") even when they clearly weren't. True, there are those that say the same about Bill's Jesse Jackson comment in South Carolina. But Hillary showed her greatest strength when she was able to deflect such perceived slights with aplomb, and her greatest weakness when she openly aimed to make gender an issue with her language in the stump while race remained a taboo topic for Obama to even discuss in interviews. Considering he was winning the primary contest while that double standard was in place, he hardly played "the race card". Or the "victim" one, for that matter.

But damage was done during the campaign by the likes of Gloria Steinem, the feminist icon who first offered sexism as an explanation for Clinton's third-place finish in Iowa. (Thankfully, Steinem has followed her candidate in endorsing Obama.) Many American women who have lived through an entire lifetime of injustices and insults have now become so aggrieved by Hillary's defeat that they now vow to vote for...John McCain?

Sorry, I'm still struggling with this. McCain is and always has been anti-abortion, and is ready to appoint Supreme Court judges that will overturn Roe v. Wade as soon as there's an opening. No "maverick" here - there is a clear record of McCain being a hardliner when it comes to women's rights, particularly reproductive rights.

Why such women who supported Hillary would vote for McCain at all is curious. Why they would decide to do so when a better alternative is available tells me that it must be anger talking.